The 9 Word Diet

As spring reaches its peak and summer begins to be more than just a distant memory, a woman's thoughts naturally turn to her winter flab as in how to tame Squishy (doesn't everyone name her fat?!) into submission in preparation for the ensuing shorts/tank top/swimsuit season.  This was a particularly stellar year for me in the fight against fatness with my foot doctor telling me that it wouldn't hurt to lose 5 pounds as that would be 5 less pounds each time I step down on my poor overworked plantar.  (He really meant 10.)  It's a good thing I have a thick skin about these things.

My co-worker Greg gave me his 9 word diet plan, which pretty much  distills the whole sordid process down to the essentials.

It begins with the 3 word diet:

eat less food.

Then you advance to the 6 word diet:

walk long distances.

Finally, when you're ready, you work up to the 9 word diet:

lift heavy things.

So forget the Paleo Diet, the Atkins Diet, South Beach, etc.  9 simple words are all it takes.  And if it doesn't work, that's okay too because as my other co-worker Thom says, the bigger we are, the closer we'll all be to one another.