Showing posts with label Ingrid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ingrid. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Peace of Wild Things

Badwater Road

Winter quarter was a difficult one.  With the terrible weather here in Seattle, the non-stop workload, and various student issues, I found myself waking up a couple times from some mighty angry student-related dreams, which was strange because I didn't think I was really that angry.  But clearly instead of becoming more zen about things, I have just been becoming more repressed. :)  I began daydreaming of the desert.  It was time to hit the road.

Wendell Berry's "The Peace of Wild Things" reminds me of how restorative venturing back out into nature, into the "peace of wild things" can be.  We flew into Vegas to go to Death Valley and a common response when I told people I was going to Vegas was enthusiasm followed by a quizzical expression when I told them actually we were heading into Death Valley for part of the time.  The man at the rental car company even outright said, "It's not worth it," but I would disagree.  The hot sun (in the 80s!), salt flats, sand dunes, blue skies with gorgeous clouds and the starkness of the desert landscape was just the antidote to rain and more rain.  Even the lovely Ingrid who thought at best to survive the experience without having to drink her own urine found the park to be beyond her expectation in terms of its austere beauty.


Badwater Basin: Lowest elevation in the US below sea level

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
--By Wendell Berry


Salt Pool in the Devil's Golfcourse
Par for the Devil's Golfcourse

Mesquite Flat Sand Dunes

View from Dante's Peak
Zabrieski Point
Rhyolite Ghost Town



Flora
Waiting for rain




Sunday, November 20, 2011

"She eats gluten free."




The lovely Ingrid's nephew was telling his friend about her the other day and in describing his aunty to his little friend, Nathan described her as "eating gluten free."  Clearly if a 4 year old uses this descriptor, then it's kind of a big deal.

For those of us who are still gleefully (and thankfully) devouring bread, pastries, and practicing all sorts of gluten-laden gluttony, going gluten-free seems virtually unimaginable.  But the other day, I made a flourless chocolate cake, sans gluten, that made me think that if ever I had to practice non-gluten gluttony, that it might be survivable....

Flourless Chocolate Cake (adapted from Martha Stewart)

This is a Martha recipe and it does take a bit of work to create but the results are fabulous.  The cake isn't much to look at but it is decadent and delicious!

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus more for pan 8 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
6 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Confectioners' sugar or Dutch-processed cocoa, for dusting
Sweetened whipped cream, for serving (optional)
Preheat the oven to 275 degrees with the rack in the center. Butter the bottom and sides of a 9-inch springform pan. Set aside.
Begin by beating the egg whites until soft peaks form.  Gradually add in the sugar and continue beating until you have glossy stiff peaks.  You really should use a stand mixture here.
Once you have that done, put the butter and chocolate in a large heatproof bowl and microwave it in 30-second increments (the first time you can do about a minute to a minute and a half) until it's completely melted.  Whisk in the egg yolks but let the chocolate butter mixture cool down a bit so you don't cook the yolks.  (The original recipe says to do this step first but I found that when I started with the chocolate mixture, by the time I had the whites beaten, the chocolate mixture had cooled and hardened, which then resulted in all sorts of shenanigans to get the whole things softened again without having the heat it in the microwave so as to not cook the yolks.)
At this point,  whisk 1/4 of the egg whites into the chocolate mixture; then gently fold in remaining egg whites. 
Pour batter into the prepared pan, and smooth the top with a rubber spatula. Bake until the cake pulls away from the sides of the pan and is set in the center, 45 to 50 minutes. Cool completely on a wire rack; remove sides of pan. Serve at room temperature, dusted with confectioners' sugar or since I didn't have any, I used cocoa powder, which was also nice. Serve with whipped cream, if desired.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Born to Run



Last weekend my friends Grace and Ingrid and I finished the Portland Marathon--26.2 miles with 12,000 other runners.  There was some question if Ingrid would run as she developed shin splints about 3 weeks before the race.  Grace was running with what she described as "little knives stabbing her knees" and I had plantar fasciitis, heel pain that caused me to have to run around the house in high heels even when in pajamas (as bizarre as that sounds, it's what my podiatrist told me to get the pressure off my heel!).  We were a sorry lot but still determined to finish the run as we'd invested long hours training for this race.  Many people shook their heads, puzzled as to why we'd subject our bodies to such a punishing regiment, and Ingrid's chiropractor begged her, with tears in her eyes, not to run the marathon as she'd do "irreparable damage" to herself.  With all this negative perception towards the effects of long distance running, it hardly seemed sane that each year, tens of thousands of people participate in marathons all over the world.  But then again, no one's ever accused us of being too sane.


We headed up to Portland the day before, partaking in some good grub including kimchee tacos and fresh burgers served on some nice, buttery Texas toast at some of the fine food trucks Portland is known for as well as a restaurant in the Pearl District called "The Fish Grotto."  This is the sort of place where the hipster waiter tells you his recommendations with a nonchalance bordering on insolence but ultimately turns out to be a sweetheart who gave each of us a coupon for free appetizers next time we came around.  The place itself is dark and somewhat dive-y, but everything we ate there was delicious and the lobster mac and cheese is absolutely the thing to carbo load on the night before a big race.




On Sunday, we all got up before six to head over to the start line.  Our awesome support crew, Eveline and Tony, provided much needed moral support throughout, giving us plenty of cowbell and encouraging not just us but other runners along the way, telling them, "You own this!"  Some of the signage along the way also provided some comic relief including: "This is the worst parade ever" or "Running sucks."  For me, the first 18 miles were pretty good but about the 19th mile is where the lack of food (the race planners provided water, energy drinks, and just gummy bears and occasional pretzels to replenish lost glycogen stores) and general tiredness begin to set in.  But usually by then, there's really very little doubt that you can finish.  After all, you've finished over 3/4 of the race.  Our motto had been "Under five and alive" and we all made our goal: we finished alive!



We spent the next few days sore and tired but happy that we'd accomplished our goal.  Conversations around the house went something like this:
"Are you okay?"
"What makes you think I'm not okay?  Just because I scream each time I stand up or sit down doesn't mean I'm not okay."


This is my 3rd marathon and each time I think, "This is it.  No more," especially as different injuries have flared up over the years.  Just when I think I've solved my knee problem, I end up with a heel problem.  It really makes you appreciate when you have a healthy body.  I'm not convinced though that distance running is the issue.  I'd been reading Christopher McDougall's book Born to Run, a narrative about a tribe of runners called the Tarahumara who live and run out in the Copper Canyon in Mexico.  They neither have fancy running shoes (they run with huraches or sandals crafted from rubber tires) nor do they have a strict training schedule (in fact they usually have a huge party where they get completely smashed before their two day running parties) but they don't get injured or hurt.


Some of the "secrets" of the Tarahumara include a simple mostly vegetarian diet and a drink made out of chia seeds, which apparently one tablespoon of the seed is like "a smoothie made from salmon, spinach, and human growth hormone," packed with omega 3s, omega 6s, calcium, iron, zinc, fiber, and antioxidants.  You just have to get over the ick factor of eating a Chia pet.  Another thing the Tarahumara do often is run barefoot or with barely any footwear.  Barefoot running has been a huge trend lately but the Tarahumara have done it for decades.  The logic is that tennis shoes are helpful is you have good running posture but the majority of us don't.  We run with poor posture, with big, sloppy strides, which twist and tweak our backs, and the shoes mask the problem, thus resulting in injury.  In fact, one of the pioneers of barefoot running, Barefoot Ken Bob's "Naked Toe Manifesto" says "Shoes block pain, not impact!  Pain teaches us to run comfortably!  From the moment you start going barefoot, you will change the way you run."  In fact, feet are supposed to like a good beating and will stride down harder in cushioned shoes to search for a hard, stable platform.  I asked my podiatrist about this and he of course said, "Don't believe everything you read."  Of course, according to barefoot running subscribers, his living is built upon the foot problems that are supposed to disappear once you ditch the shoes, but I'm not quite at the point of chucking my shoes though once my plantar fasciitis heals up, I may be inclined to give it a go.


One last thing the book talks about with the Tarahumara as well as other ultra marathoners is in the attitude towards running.  They embrace the effort, seeing fatigue not as an enemy but as a motivator.  They embrace "Easy, light, smooth, and fast" as the motto to their runs, not caring how high the hill or how far they've go to go.  They enjoy the run as an expression for the love of life, and as a way to live.  As McDougall says, "That was the real secret of the Tarahumara: they'd never forgotten what it felt like to love running.  They remembered that running was mankind's first fine art, our original act of inspired creation....the way we survived and thrived and spread across the planet....You had to love running, or you wouldn't live to love anything else.  And like everything else we love--everything we sentimentally call our "passions" and 'desires"--it's really an encoded ancestral necessity.  We were born to run; we were born because we run.  We're all Running People, as the Tarahumara have always known."  This is in contrast to the American approach of running as a way to get stuff--as a means to an end--getting medals, Nike deals, becoming faster, skinnier.  I'm not sure I agree with the whole woo-woo idea of running as the ultimate expression of love and creation but I do think we spend a lot of time as Americans thinking about stuff like better shoes or gadgets that are supposed to help us to be faster or better rather than just going out and just running.  We also spend a lot of time dealing with and complaining about the injuries we sustain, which definitely does not make you feel easy, light, or smooth in running.


One of the stories that the book ends with which really made me think about the idea that we were born to run was the story of David Carrier, a scientist who in looking at a rabbit carcass realized that one of the mysteries of human evolution, which was why man became upright, was to breathe better.  And if humans evolved to be better at breathing, then they evolved to be better at running.  The problem was that humans were not very fast runners compared to all other animals.  Even compared to our ancestors, the Neanderthal, humans are pretty wimpy.  Neanderthals are stronger, tougher, burlier, and had bigger brains.  So how did humans beat them out?  By being able to run longer.  Most other animals were faster, but because they didn't have the physiology to cool off, if humans could keep an animal galloping and in sight on a hot day, after about ten or fifteen kilometers' worth of running, it will go into hypothermia and collapse.  Then you can spear it and eat it.  David and his brother Scott, who worked for NPR, gave this theory a try and they recorded the event for This American Life.  They problem, they realized, was that while they were trying to run an antelope down, the animal has a few tricks of its own up its sleeve.  The antelope would run into the trees and rest while the brothers tried to track it or it would run in with its herd and a different antelope would run out, thus foiling their attempts to tire out the same animal.  David almost gave up at this point with trying to prove his Running Man theory when he received a call from a researcher named Louis Liebenberg who had been learning to track with a group of Kalahari bushmen in Botswana who still hunted in the old ways.  Liebenberg learned to read the tracks of animals in the dirt and then learned to track without tracks at all with something known as "speculative hunting."  This is where you project yourself into the mind of the creature, to anticipate what it will do.  After he had learned to live and track with these bushmen for several years, they took him out for a special hunt.  When they came across a clutch of kudu, an especially agile form of antelope, they started to run after them.  The bushmen ran as a group and whenever the kudu would dash into the trees to rest, one of the hunters would drive it back into the sun.  When the kudu would run into the herd, the four Bushmen would be so skilled as to be able to track and keep running after the same animal.  Thus in this way, after two hours, the animal buckled and crashed to the ground.  Liebenberg later discovered that this hunt had been particularly quick and that for most times, it will last about 3-4 hours, which coincidentally, is about how long a marathon lasts at the pace these Bushmen were running.  (Recreation has its reasons!)  In other words, according to McDougall, "running was the superpower that made us human--which means it's a superpower all human possess."

One more interesting thing is that when scientists monitored the results of the 2004 NYC marathon and compared finishers by age, they found that starting at age 19, runners get faster every year until hitting their peak at 27.  At that time, runners' speed starts to decline but it isn't until you are 64 that you're back to the same running speed as at 19!  There's a lot more that the book talks about, including why running is good for both men and women and how it makes us more human, more cooperative, basically better people and how our quest for efficiency is what's killing our love for it but I shall let any interested parties read it for themselves.




Who knows.  If I have until I'm 64 until I'll be running like a 19 year old, that's not a bad thing.  As McDougall quotes in the book, "You don't stop running because you get old.  You get old because you stop running."

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

5 Levels of Communication

I've been discussing the 5 levels of communication, which Pastor Nancy told me about, with the lovely Ingrid. In a nutshell, here they are:

1) CLICHES - Typical, routine, oft repeated comments, questions and answers given out of habit and with no real forethought or genuine intent. "How are you?" "Fine." "Having a good day?" "Yes."

(2) FACTS - Information/Statistics about the weather, the office, friends, the news, personal activities, etc. Requires no in depth thinking or feeling.

(3) OPINIONS - Includes concerns, expectations, and personal goals, dreams, and desires. Due to differences of opinion that naturally arise between two people, especially between men and women, this is typically the level at which we run into the "wall of conflict."

(4) FEELINGS - Having gone through the "wall of conflict" via applying the communication skills following, you both feel safe to share your deepest emotions.

(5) NEEDS - The deepest level of communication and intimacy where you feel completely safe to reveal your unique needs with each other. Truly, unless needs are known and met, a couple will remain "strangers."

(Resource: Secrets to Lasting Love, by Gary Smalley)

It seems like many of the women we know operate regularly on levels 4 and 5 with anything less than that being more informational rather than personal and thus less satisfying in terms of "connecting" with another person. This is in contrast with most guys that we know who seem to operate mostly on levels 1 and 2 and sometimes 3 and find that completely satisfying. Perhaps we're biased and our sample field is far from random but again, the differences between the sexes really is baffling.

I thought I'd also include the transcript of Gary Smalley talking about his 6 levels of communication. He's obviously talking to guys in this one as he says about three times at different points why intimate communication with your significant other is so important: sex. She feels close to you, you get sex. It's all about the right motivation. It's hilarious.

Question:
My wife says that our communication is not satisfying, what do I do?
Answer:
So, she doesn’t think you communicate very well. Well, join another
billion men around the world, because most men really don’t know the
levels of communication and what really is satisfying in communication.

So, let me go through six levels of communication, and you can tell me
which ones you’ve touched on in your marriage. But if you go all the
way to the sixth level and go there regularly—ew!—watch how your
wife’s going to say, “Thank you, Honey. Have you changed or what?”
In fact, you know what? This really turns a woman on sexually when
you get to the sixth level, and stay there regularly.
All right?
OK. Here are the levels. See where you are in your marriage or in your
friendships.

Level number one: The least satisfying level of communication is
cliques—meaningless words. “Pass the pepper,” you know, or, “Yeah,
I’m fine,” you know. “What was your day like?” “Ah, I’m fine.
Whatever.” And so, it’s just real low level, no conflict at that level at
all. That’s the lowest level of satisfaction.

Level number two: We’re moving down deeper into communication—
sharing facts with one another. “What happened to the President
today?” you know, “What happened in the weather?” “Oh, did you hear
about that tragedy over in Africa?” You know, just sharing facts. Most
people don’t get into big arguments, but you can. But it’s just sort of
weak level. But do you know what? A lot of couples stay on levels one
and two, and then their communication is never satisfying and they
don’t know why. That’s because they’re not moving closer to the sixth
level.

Level number three is when you share your opinions with each other.
Well, most husband and wives and friends have a different opinion
about everything, because of how we were raised, our own beliefs, a
million reasons, personalities. But here’s the key—at the third level of
opinions, you have most of your arguments. Just remember that all
arguments that are in level three are designed for you to go deeper in
your relationship—deeper love. Do you know that all verbal fights are
all doorways to deeper intimacy? The reason being, arguments almost
take you to the last three levels of deep communication, deep
friendship.

And so, when you have a disagreement, what you want to do is move
to the fourth level, which is “what does a person feel about this
argument?” Any time you start sharing your deep feelings—extremely
important guys—don’t even worry about it. Don’t say, “Eh, I don’t like
talking about my feelings.” Most guys aren’t in touch with their
feelings anyway, so you have to get help from your wife even to know
how you feel. But the better you get at sharing your feelings—you
know, “I feel sad,” or “I feel discouraged,” or “I feel fearful,” or “I feel
lonely,” or whatever your feeling—you try to become in touch with it
and share it with your wife. This is like pouring warm oil on her life,
and this is why it causes her to feel so pleasant with you, and actually,
most—a lot of women, wives, will respond to you sexually with you
right at that level.
It’s just amazing what that does.

Level number five is when you share your needs. “Honey, you know
what I really need in my life? I need,” you know, whatever you need in
communication. But whatever you need mentally, and educationally,
and physically, and whatever your own personal needs are, personal
needs really help a couple or friends go deeper into their relationship.
And when you do that, it’s just amazing the feeling your wife has,
because she really feels connected to you, close to you, and you feel
closer to her.

And the sixth level, which is really, really important, is when you take
your relationship to your mate’s beliefs, your beliefs, your mate’s
beliefs—when you start uncovering and discovering, “What do you
believe about life?” “What do you believe about God?” “What do you
believe about food?” “What do you believe about your job?” “What do
you believe about your future?” “What do you believe about your
past?”

You know, you’ve got hundreds of beliefs in your heart. And the
deepest love—ever heard someone say, “I love you with all my heart”?
That’s, “I love you with, I believe, everything about me cherishes you.
I crave you.” That’s what love really is. “I crave to be with you. I crave
to serve you. I crave to want to know you. I’m fascinated by you.” But
that’s a belief you have, and, when you share your belief, that’s the
deepest level of communication. And when your wife is hearing your
beliefs, and you’re hearing hers, she’s going to lie in bed at night and
just go, “Woo, do I like this guy or what? I wonder when the next
time’s he going to touch me, so we can be sexually involved?”
Watch
what happens. Trust me it works.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

When Love Beckons to You



For Ingrid, lover of love:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

--Kahlil Gibran